Tinseltown in the Rain

Sung by the “Scottish Sinatra” Paul Buchanan, this is 5 minutes of magic.  “The red car in the fountain” is possibly about a water feature in 80s Glasgow pub Alice Undergrounds, but more likely Kelvingrove Park.  Paul can quite often be seen in the Byres Road Waitrose, across from Fopp. He said at the 6 Music Festival in Glasgow in 2017 that he doesn’t mind if you say hi, so now there’s no excuse not to ambush him at the bakery bit like a pure mad stalker.

I belong to Glasgow – Will Fyfe

If any music bore tries to tell you the longest “breakdown” in popular music is the 2:06 – 4:00 stretch in One More Time, point them towards the 4 minutes or so that Willie spends in the middle of this, mumbling about the merits of a “richt guid drink” like a debauched Grandpa Broon.  This deliberate sabotage makes more sense when you realise that Willie was actually from Dundee.

I wish I was in Glasgow – Billy Connolly

You probably assumed this was a cover, but it’s a Big Yin original, describing his cushy upbringing in trendy Finnieston. Billy keeps it light and doesn’t complain about the £6 pints, hand-made artisanal hot dogs, or violent hen dos rampaging towards Michael McIntyre at The Hydro.  The melody is a little bit Grace, little bit country and western, whole bit beautiful.

Mother Glasgow – Hue and Cry

Originally written by another Dundonian (Michael Marra), Pat and Greg Kane took time out from performing Pavarotti to confused pensioners in Sauchiehall Street in order to nail the definitive version.  Immortality followed.  “Let Glasgow Flourish”.

Super Trouper – Abba

It mentions Glasgow and was number 1 in 9 countries.  Case closed.  I have omitted Aztec Camera’s Killermont Street on purpose, because it’s a bit weepy. And I know Ricky Ross wrote loads of those Deacon Blue belters in a flat off Victoria Road. Look – if you want one of your wee pet favourites like Chvrches or Belle & Sebastian or Mogwai or Franz Ferdinand or Primal Scream on this prestigious list, tell them to sort it out and give Glasgow a proper mention.

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